If there’s any point during the wedding planning that you’re likely to think about eloping and getting married in secret, then it’s going to happen when you’re planning the wedding guest list. What started of as an intimate family gathering can soon turn into a free for all and lead to tensions and family rows. Here’s a few tips to help you keep your cool and keep your list manageable.
Know Your Target
It helps to have a number in your heads before you draw up your list. For example 15-30 guests would be considered a small wedding for intimate ceremonies and destination weddings. Medium would be 80-120 which allows for a certain exclusivity. Large is anything over this number which incidentally calls for a rather large wallet. Whatever your target, you’ll probably end up with a few extra, but it helps to have a number in mind from the very beginning.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with not extending an invitation to a single friend to bring along a guest. If your friend has only just started dating someone and you haven’t met them or perhaps you don’t even like the person that they’re currently seeing, then don’t send them an invite.
If your parents have contributed towards the wedding then naturally they will want some say in who gets invited. However, don’t give them carte blanche or they’ll likely produce a list as long as your arm of all their acquaintances. Try to tactfully give each parent a set number of guests that they can invite or it goes over the number, suggest that they pay for those guests.
Stand Your Ground
Sometimes you’re just going to have to be ruthless. Don’t start feeling guilty and that you have to invite people you don’t care for just because you think you should.
Don’t start inviting people if you don’t really want them to come. It’s pointless asking colleagues at work or far removed cousins if you’re going to hope that they don’t show. Save the invites for people that you do want to celebrate with.
Some people will get the hump if you don’t ask their children whereas others will be genuinely relieved to be able to spend time away from their kids. The thing to remember here is to be consistent. No children has to mean for everybody, that way there’s no arguments and bad feelings.
If all else fails and you feel a war is likely to break out between your families, then you may have to compromise. This quite simply means inviting certain guests to the evening only.
Whatever happens, try not to get too stressed over the wedding list. At the end of the day it’s your wedding and who you ask should really be up to you. Ok, you might run the risk of offending a couple of people but hey, how often do you actually ever see these people and is is likely to impact you in the future?