Organising your groom

It’s most women’s dream to get married one day, to find that perfect guy, have the perfect wedding and live happily ever after. From a young age you already had your dress in mind, your colour scheme and the style of wedding you want. Sadly, this is not the case for men; it generally seems to take a little kick start to get them on the wedding-planning wagon.

When the big day comes it’s all about the tiny details running smoothly, but because your groom wasn’t dreaming of cakes, bouquets and tiaras at the age of 10, unfortunately he won’t seem as bothered about the fine details that are so important to us girls.

You may prefer it if he just took a back seat and let you get on with organising your dream day, but if you do want him to play a part in the process and are worried about his levels of enthusiasm and passion for planning, here are a few hints to help him on his way:

Most importantly, to avoid as much conflict and drama as possible, ensure you ask him what he wants to see at your wedding, what he visualizes. Simply telling him won’t do any good, if you ask him about his tastes and choices (what aspect of the wedding is most important to him, what he would like to eat etc), it will make him want to contribute more.

Open an account together. This isn’t a necessity, and you can still keep your independent accounts but it is an idea to help you save for your wedding equally and is a mutual account you can both access when necessary in the run up to your day.

Think of a wedding planning task you think he might enjoy – if he loves music it could be his job to find a band or DJ; if he has good negotiating skills, ask him to work out the prices of your wedding necessities with suppliers to see if he can wangle any extras within your packages.

These days, more and more men are afraid of making fools of themselves on the dance floor during that infamous first dance, so suggest he researches local dance instructors and classes.

Once he has chosen his best man/groomsmen, let it be his responsibility to pick their apparel, organise their whereabouts and instruct them on their responsibilities.