How much control should parents have when it comes to your wedding plans?

So you're getting married and your parents are paying for the whole thing. Congratulations! However, with this generous gift comes a few complications that you might not have though of, such as your parents wanting their friends to come, demanding that you have a church wedding, and naturally you'll be having a three course sit down dinner!

As much as it is great if your parents either pay for or contribute to the cost of your wedding day they are going to expect to have their say and you are either going to have to be extremely tough and stick to your guns and risk getting into heated discussions, or you're going to have to make a few compromises in certain areas. The other alternative is that you pay for the entire do yourselves or you both elope.

It helps if you have a realistic idea of the costs involved before even discussing money and who pays for what. Spend some time getting a few guidelines on the prices for venues, catering, flowers and so forth, then you are better placed to discuss finances.

Naturally it is your big day and you probably have some grand ideas, but this may all be before you've actually realised how much these things are likely to cost. Parents helping with the costs make it easier to have the wedding of your dreams but as the old saying goes “if you get to pay, you have your say”. Be prepared to make small sacrifices to keep other parties happy, after all everyone wants for you to have a fantastic wedding and they are your family so you need them on your side. For example if your mother is desperate for you to have a church wedding and a sit down meal and you would prefer to get married on the beach and have a barbecue then you might have to compromise and have a church wedding followed by a buffet al fresco overlooking the beach. Or, if your parents want a band and you would prefer a DJ then you might be able to compromise by having a string quartet playing whilst you are having your meal followed by DJ for the evening reception.

If your parents haven't been able to help financially and still want to contribute in other ways then take advantage of this fact and actively employ them to ring around venues and caterers for prices. All of these things take valuable time which you may not have, so be thankful that your parents want to contribute in whatever way they can.